TAMARA MERINO/ 타마라 메리노 (B. 1990) 

Quarantine Diary

Years ago, I laid on my mother's chest wrapped in her arms, like an everlasting swing. Today, after three decades, I have returned to the womb. The world today has given us a pause. For more than hundred and forty days we were locked in a confined space. 

I have lived through two quarantines in the last year; both of them after the birth of my son, Ikal. During my first quarantine, postpartum, I was full of hope. But this quarantine has brought me great anxiety for the future, for my son, and for the planet.

Undoubtedly, confinement feels stronger and more overwhelming when someone imposes it on us. When we have freedom over our actions, but we decide to stay home, we still feel free. 

My days consist of breast feeding, napping, changing diapers, playing, loving, and repeating. Deep down, I feel that quarantine is like motherhood: an endless spiral of loneliness, isolation, unanswered questions, anxiety, reflections, and hope. However, quarantined or not-inside or outside-freedom is not defined by confinement or by being outdoors. Freedom is a state of mind; a philosophy, a decision.


오래전, 어머니는 나를 품에 안아 어르고 있었고, 그 순간은 영원할 것만 같았다. 삼십 년이 지난 오늘, 나는 어머니의 자궁으로 회귀했다. 세상은 우리를 정지시켰다. 140여 일간 우리는 한 공간에 갇혀있었다. 

작년에 나는 아들 이칼을 낳은 후 두 번의 격리를 겪었다. 출산 직후의 격리는 희망으로 가득했었다. 하지만 두 번째는 미래에 관한, 나의 아이에 관한, 그리고 이 세상에 관한 불안감이 엄습했다. 두말할 나위 없이, 한곳에 격리되는 것은 얽매임의 감정을 키운다. 내가 원해서 그랬다면 자유로움을 느꼈을 것이다. 

아이에게 모유 수유를 하고, 낮잠을 자고, 기저귀를 갈아주고, 놀아주고, 보듬어주는 나날이 계속되었다. 격리란 어머니가 되는 것 같다는 느낌이 들었다. 끝이 없는 외로움, 고립, 대답 없는 질문들, 불안, 투영과 희망들. 그러나 격리가 되건, 안에서건 바깥에서건 자유는 육체적 상태로 정의되지 않는다. 자유로움이란 마음의 상태이다. 철학이자 결단이다. 

 TAMARA MERINO/ 타마라 메리노 (B. 1990)

콜롬비아 출생, 칠레 거주 및 작업 

Born in Colombia,  South America

works in Chile, South America

Education

BA in photography at the Universidad del Pacífico, Santiago, Chile

Residency of photography at the School of Visual Arts, New York. USA

Selected Exhibition

2020

La Maison, L' Amérique Latine. France.

Indian Photo Festival, India.

Photoville. New York, USA

Athens Photo Festival. Greece. 

Salón Fotográfico del Sur. Argentina.

2019

Yangon Photo Festival. Myanmar

2018

Art Stgo. Santiago Chile. 2018.

Lumix Photo Festival. Hannover, Germany. 2018.

2017

World Press Photo Side Exhibition – DIS/PLACE. USA

2017

Maciel Photo exhibition / Maciel Foto Documental. Argentina

FIFV Internacional festival of photography. Chile 

Quarantine Diary

Years ago, I laid on my mother's chest wrapped in her arms, like an everlasting swing. Today, after three decades, I have returned to the womb. The world today has given us a pause; a life without haste, without pressures, and without excuses. For more than hundred and forty days we were locked in a confined space. Today, the world stands still and life in this house has frozen into a hug. 
I have lived through two quarantines in the last year; both of them after the birth of my son, Ikal. For some reason, I still feel like I am a puerpera, a woman who has just given birth. I think this is because the context and the emotional register of my life remains so similar. During my first quarantine, postpartum, I was full of hope. But this quarantine has brought me great anxiety for the future, for my son, and for the planet.

Undoubtedly, confinement feels stronger and more overwhelming when someone imposes it on us. When we have freedom over our actions, but we decide to stay home, we still feel free. Not anymore. My days consist of breastfeeding, napping, changing diapers, playing, loving, and repeating. Deep down, I feel that quarantine is like motherhood: an endless spiral of loneliness, isolation, unanswered questions, anxiety, reflections, and hope. I see these emotions as a neutral feeling, neither negative nor positive. They are simply new. However, quarantined or not-inside or outside-freedom is not defined by confinement or by being outdoors. Freedom is a state of mind; a philosophy, a decision.

Luckily, I spent this second quarantine with my mother. Together, we did the daily exercise of accompanying, guiding, and caring for ourselves.  She is the beginning of my own motherhood and so it is an endless circle. We shared experiences that we would have never experienced together if it wasn't for the COVID-19 pandemic. This timeless period has allowed me to portray the symbiosis between my son, my mother, and myself while living under one roof in total lockdown, with limited exposure to the outdoors.쟕oday, we are the ones who must inhabit the world in a different way.